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THE IMPORTANCE OF FINDING YOURSELF
- Benjamin Brenner
- Mar 18
- 2 min read
A person always has some internal conflict between conformity—we crave it deeply, as social creatures—and individuality. In what ways should we fit in with the expectations of others, and at what point does that destroy our identity?
It’s our natural state to try and strike a balance between conformity and individuality, to fit in while being unique. But this relies on the tolerance and inclusivity of others. How will they respond to your idiosyncrasies (quirks), your peculiarities, all the things that make you interesting and human? What capacity do they have for the differences between you and them?
Keeping in mind that this attempt at balance is our default state, we have two responsibilities in order to keep everyone happy. One: to accept the differences of others (enormously easier said than done), and two: to not dilute your own differences for others. This works reciprocally. We have to be tolerant of others in order to not dilute their individuality, but we shouldn’t water down our differences for others to accept us.
The world is slowly moving in the right direction in terms of the first point. That is, we’re becoming more inclusive of one another. But we often forget about the second point.
Especially at our age, it can be frightening to be different. We often fail at both sides of the scale. We tend to judge people when they’re not the same as us while scrambling to make sure we follow all the trends and fads.
This can affect us significantly in many ways. It can feel like we’re trapped in a cage of other people’s expectations. We chip away at our personalities this way.
The free mind of the unusual person is extremely valuable. Being normal will not satisfy you in the end. It is your strangeness that makes you important. The world doesn’t need another typical person.
It does, however, need you. And it needs you to let yourself exist.
